Monday, January 31, 2011


To my sweet baby:

"I carried you beneath my heart for three months... now I will carry you in my heart. Thank you for giving me hope."

So as it turns out I took another impromptu month long hiatus from blogging. I was hoping my luck was turning around when tragedy struck again. My heart is broken and I needed to take time to heal and try to begin to move forward.

Just as I was going into the second trimester I lost my baby due to IC which I believe was a result of my surgeries this past Fall.

This sonogram photo that was taken the day before I lost my sweet pea.

There are blessings in all of this sadness. After my surgeries my husband and I were finally going to move on with life, finally accepting that due to Unexplained Infertility we would not have any more children. Then this sweet little baby came along and gave us hope.

I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to carry a child again, even if it was only for a short time.

And the biggest blessing of all is becoming even closer as a family. After losing the baby I was broken. It was my husband who came and picked up all of the pieces of my heart and put me back together. I feel closer to him than ever before.

The kids have been amazing and have inspired me to have the same simple trust that God has a plan for us.
We told the kids that the baby left my tummy and went back to Heaven. And in a sweet, simple way they "hope the baby comes back soon."

So do I!

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